I love my SITH® and meditation practices. I’m committed to them, and I frequently catch the repetitive loops replaying in me. No longer do I question this fundamental understanding: that which I call outward experiences are composed of memories replaying in my subconscious mind. My 24/7 observance gives me countless opportunities to recognize the repetition and release it. I’ve got a good thing going, or so I thought.
Everything feels different to me now. I am angry, stubborn, stuck. As I write this, I feel the energy of my post-inaugural anger spiraling into despair for my government. Perhaps my despair results from my stubborn refusal to look at myself and to admit to the toxic memories replaying in me, in essence saying: “There is NO WAY my subconscious is responsible for this—we’re friends now! Everything is in me? Not this time–I’m right, they’re wrong.” More frightening is the thought: “I’m morally superior; he’s a lug, he’s inarticulate, he’s sexist.” I cleverly put myself on a moral pedestal so that even if I lose every battle, I’ve already won the war.
Am I listening to myself? How arrogant; have I paid attention to my own rhetoric and really looked at myself? The conflict is within me, and always has been. How could it be otherwise? I am the watcher, the judger, the experiencer. Being 100% responsible means acknowledging my participation and asking my subconscious to work with me and to let the memories go.
A close friend of mine who also applies Self I-Dentity through Ho’oponopono® once said, “One of the things that I love about this process is that it explains everything.”
YES, if the cause of all of my experiences is in me, it would have to. My government, my family, my health, my earth, my sky, my oceans…my responsibility. I am experiencing it all, so I sure as heck am responsible. And, of late, I’ve judged these experiences with brutal harshness. And I’ve also judged the actors who read the script I hand them even more harshly.
But as I’ve spoken to several like-minded friends in the past couple of weeks, I’ve been able to see how much Love is available to me, and that this Love is also in me, not just the yucky stuff. These have all been like-minded friends, but not in our political and social stances. What we share is the knowledge that our experiences are shaped by recurrent patterns playing in the subconscious mind. And how freeing it is to give everything that appears OUT THERE–friends, Romans and countrymen–a break from the toxins that harm us all.
Importantly, we are like-minded in committing to a loving spiritual practice. As we say “Yes” to every uncomfortable thought, emotion and judgment we show Love to more of ourselves.
My practice shows me the answer to every question I can pose is “Yes.” When I say “Yes” to every uncomfortable emotion and thought, I bring balance and Peace to my Self. Do I love my president? Yes. Do I love my government? Yes. Do I love my cold? Yes. Do I love my anger, fear, loathing and jealousy? Yes, yes, yes, and yes. Why? Because it is here, waiting for my reaction.
Several of Morrnah’s students have told me that she would constantly remind them: “Look at yourself, look at yourself.”
YES, thank you Morrnah. I am, and I will.